Archive for dating

How Do You Know When You’ve Met The “One”?

Posted in Patiently Waiting...Sort of with tags , , , , , , , on October 30, 2011 by holychick

As a single Christian young woman, often times thoughts of the “One” crosses my mind. I wonder what he’ll look like, what his personality will be like, how will we meet etc. The only thing I know for sure is that my “One” must be unequivocally sold out for God! No exceptions, no substitutions, no half stepping and no fronting about it!

As my early 20’s are becoming a distant memory (we had some great times!), and my “One” has yet to make his appearance, I’m beginning to get the side eye from everybody! Don’t you just love the why are you still single question?

Side note: A friend of mine said that every time he goes to a wedding people ask him so when is it going to be your turn or they say you’re next! So he said the next time he goes to a funeral he’s going to go around and ask people so when is it going to be your turn or point to someone and say you’re next! LOL, he’s a hot mess.

Either way I don’t have an answer to the why I’m still single question and even if I did I still have to wait on God’s time. People don’t seem to get that and try to match me with anybody just as long as the person is single. A friend of mine even told me straight out I know you’re not going to like him, but he’s single. WHAT!!! ! Not wanting to be closed minded I ask is he a Christian? She says I don’t know, but he’s funny. Lol, thanks, but I’ll pass! I am no where near desperate so why is everyone else desperate to hook me up. Relax everybody!

This is not only my reality, but it is true for so many of my single friends, both male and female. The worse part is that when one person from the group gets blessed to change their facebook status from single to married, they act like they are now a part of an elusive secret society that only those lucky enough to have met the “One” are allowed membership. There becomes an unspoken divide between the have and the have not.

While some people become stuck on stupid once they get married, there are plenty more couples who we singles can gain wisdom from. I enjoy listening to these couples rehash how they met and talk about how they knew their spouse was the “One”. Though all the stories differ there is always one commonality, PRAYER! Marriage is life changing and too important not to include prayer. Seeking God’s guidance can make the difference between truly meeting the “One” and making “One” of the biggest mistakes of your life!

Recently I came across and article on Single Black Male discussing this very topic. It was very interesting and worth checking out so click the link and take a look at the male’s perspective on the “One”.

For all my married folks out there I would love to hear about how you knew you met the one, so feel free to leave a comment sharing your experience!

10 Things A Single Person Should Do

Posted in Patiently Waiting...Sort of with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2011 by holychick

By holychick

A few weeks ago I attended a singles conference lead by Pastor Paul B. Mitchell of Changing Lives Christian Center here in Brooklyn, NY. Now I’m not one of those thirsty, desperate to get married types. I do want to get married some day, but I am waiting on God because I’ve seen too many FOOLS RUSH INto marriage and the inevitable disaster that awaits. That’s one party I don’t want an invite to.

Waiting on God to send us His best may seem like an eternity. However, there are some things that we as Christian singles should do while we wait. Pastor Mitchell did an outstanding job at highlighting the fact that people need to be content in whatever state they’re in. Singleness should not be seen as a curse, but as an opportunity to totally avail ourselves to God. Pastor Mitchell was surprisingly very real. Most pastors just shake your hand and tell you to pray thank you Captain Obvious. He  really went there and didn’t sugar coat anything! It was very refreshing to see a man tell it like it is without being critical. If anyone walked away from the conference having learnt nothing, then there’s no hope for you stick to praying for a man. I for one will be  putting this list to practice and because I’m such a nice and generous person I am attaching the notes from the conference!

 I leave you with this: Don’t settle for good enough when you can have God’s best!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH, 2011

MIND RENEWING SINGLES MINISTRY CONFERENCE

PASTOR: PAUL B. MITCHELL

 

TEN THINGS CONCERNING SINGLE PEOPLE (GENESIS 2: 16 – 18)

  • WHEN GOD LOOKED AT ADAM, HE DIDN’T JUSE SEE A MAN, HE LOOKED AT MANKIND. HE SAID IT IS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE. GOD KNOWS ALL OF YOUR PROCLIVITIES, HE KNOW ALL OF YOUR FLAWS.

 

1.      AS A SINGLE PERSON DEVELOP A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD (NOT TO BECOME WEIRD). YOU ARE SINGLE AND HAVE NO MAN/WOMAN TO COOK FOR. YOU ARE FREE AND AVAILABLE TO GOD. YOU ARE MORE AVAILABLE TO GOD THAN MARRIED PEOPLE. SO WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.

 

2.      SEEK TO HAVE A WHOLE LIFE AS A SINGLE PERSON. GO OUT NOW, GO TO THE GYM, GET DRESSED UP TO GO OUT NOW. DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED TO GO OUT AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE. FIND A FRIEND TO GO OUT WITH. YOU SHOULD NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED TO DO THE THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO. TOO MANY SINGLES ARE WAITING AND YOU SHOULD BE PREPARING WHILE YOU ARE WAITING. YOU SHOULD BE GETTING READY NOW.

 GOD BLESSES FORWARD THINKING PEOPLE. IT IS TIME TO GET YOUR BUSINESS TOGETHER NOW BEFORE YOU MEET HIM/HER.

 RECOMMENDED BOOK TO READ:  THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.  THIS BOOK WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO BE ATTRACTIVE. LOOKS FADE. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE JEALOUS OF ANYBODY ELSE. IF YOU SEEK A WHOLE AND HEALTHY LIFE YOU WILL ATTRACT THE RIGHT PERSON.

 CARNAL SIN – DON’T BE A NEEDY PERSON. IT IS VERY UNATTRACTIVE AND YOU WILL ATTRACT AN ABUSER. THERE ARE MEN/WOMEN WHO WILL NOT DATE A HEALTHY MAN/WOMAN. WE ARE A SPIRIT BEING. SPIRITS ARE ATTRACTED TO ONE ANOTHER LIKE KIND PRODUCERS. THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS REAL. DON’T EXPECT TO MEET SOMEONE IF YOU ARE NOT STRONG.

 

3.      DEVELOP INTEREST BEYOND WORK, HOME, SCHOOL, AND CHURCH. YOUR LIFE MUST BE BIGGER THAN THAT. WHEN YOU DEVELOP OTHER INTEREST IT MAKES YOU AND I MORE INTERESTING.

4.      EXERCISE – EVERYBODY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SKINNY. DO THE BEST WITH WHAT YOU HAVE. EXERCISE YOUR MIND, EAT TO FEED, READ TO FEED YOUR MIND, EXERCISE TO FEED YOUR BODY. I PRAY TO FEED MY SPIRIT. (AIMED AT DEVELOPING THE WHOLE MAN).

 

5.      AVOID PEOPLE WHO SEEK TO CONTROL AND SILENCE YOUR PERSONALITY. THERE IS SOMETHING WONDERFUL ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY. PEOPLE MATTER. THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE MATTER. EVIL CORRUPTS GOOD MANNERS.

 

6.      RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S MARRIAGE. DON’T SOW THIS INTO YOUR LIFE. IF HE/SHE IS MARRIED STAY OUT OF THEIR FACE. DON’T BE NEEDY. (JOHN 3:27) YOU WANT A SOLID PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

 

7.      LIVE AND BUDGET WITHIN YOUR MEANS. FINANCES ARE A MAJOR CAUSE OF DIVORCE. INSTANT GRATIFICATION IS NO GOOD. RESENTMENT IS A CANCER IN ANY RELATIONSHIP.

 

8.      SET A GUARD OVER YOUR HEART. DON’T GIVE AWAY YOUR HEART. LET HIM/HER EARN YOUR HEART FOR OUT OF IT IS THE ISSUES OF LIFE.

 

9.      MANAGE YOUR APPETITE. SEX IS WONDERFUL. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE FEELING FOR SEX DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A SINNER. PRAY ABOUT IT!!!! AN APPETITE IS A NEED TO EAT. YOU NED TO BE RIGHT. SEXUALITY IS NOT WRONG, BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK GOD TO MANAGE IT. ANY APPETITE THAT IS OUT OF CONTROL IS A LUST. ALL OF OUR APPETITES MUST BE MANAGED. APPETITES ARE A POWERFUL BUSINESS.

 

10.  DON’T MAKE DECISIONS THAT COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE. IF YOU SLIP UP AND HAVE SEX PROTECT YOURSELF. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX AS A SINGLE PERSON. IF YOU GO OUT ON DATES DON’T PAY FOR EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT BALANCE.

 

SET YOUR CRITERIA’S. DATE A MAN/WOMAN THAT LOVE AND RESPECT GOD. DON’T TRY TO MAKE WRONG RIGHT. SET PARAMETERS AND LEAVE THEM.